Letter of Instruction: How to Write One for Your Estate Plan

A letter of instruction can feel like one of the most important documents in your estate planning files when it comes to your loved ones, who typically form the bulk of a person’s heirs and beneficiaries.

Your customized letter of instruction (LOI) for the estate’s will, trust(s), and other legal planning documents adds an invaluable personal touch and typically includes relevant details that make it easier for your wishes to be carried out – along with other information you want to transmit to others.

The Letter Of Instruction Adds a Personalized Touch to Estate Planning Documents

Your estate plan’s will, trust(s), and other legal documents are explicitly designed to uphold your wishes for a myriad of situations, including everything from incapacitation to your death. However, while these documents include specific instructions on who should make key decisions for you and how the estate should be distributed, they are all written in legalese, which can feel impersonal.

On the other hand, while a letter of instruction is not considered a legal document, nor does California estate law recognize it, it is an opportunity for you to express your wishes in a more heartfelt tone. It’s an opportunity to create a document that is easier for your loved ones, heirs, and beneficiaries to understand and that can serve as an instruction manual.

While your estate planning attorney is happy to help guide the writing of your letter of instruction, you have the opportunity to send a very personal message – along with other relevant details – to your heirs and beneficiaries.

Some of the most common information included in an estate plan’s letter of instruction includes:

• A personal greeting and expression of sentiment, knowing that in most cases these documents are read to loved ones who are deeply grieving for their loss after your death.
• Private details about personal accounts or digital assets.
• Pertinent information about where certain things are stored, such as personal letters or videos you’ve made for your family members, passwords, etc.
• Explanations as to why you made certain decisions (especially if you are worried that those distribution decisions may cause tension or dissension within your family).

Here are some guidelines on how to write a letter of instruction for your estate plan.

1. Think about (and list) what’s most important to communicate

First, identify what is most important to communicate and create a list so each item is included in your letter of intent (LOI). Again, your estate planning attorney will be happy to help you with this if you are stuck or want to ensure you haven’t left anything out.

Beyond a personal note from you, think about what might be the most confusing or unfamiliar things that your spouse/partner or close loved ones will need access to sooner rather than later. This could include:

• Specific instructions for your estate plan trustee or executor.
• Names and contact information for legal, financial, and spiritual advisors.
• Passwords to your phone, computer, gadgets, and anywhere else people may need to keep up with your digital/social media communications.
• Location of specific contact information for whom you want to be told about your death (especially if that list includes clients, colleagues, or other relationships that your immediate loved ones aren’t as familiar with.
• Contact information for anyone involved in your after-death care, funeral, or celebration-of-life plans, etc.
• If you live alone and have pets, we recommend including information on their care, the veterinarian’s name, and other relevant details.

While this information may appear elsewhere in your estate planning documents, such as your will or trust, keeping it in the letter of intent makes it easier for those who need it to access.

2. Explanations for certain decisions or distributions

Using an estate planning professional to handle your will, trust, and other estate planning documents is the best way to avoid having the will contested by loved ones. However, if you suspect that some of your decisions will be hard for others to accept, may cause confusion, or involve complex family dynamics, a LOI with explanations of certain decisions can go a long way toward preventing your plans from causing unnecessary fallout or legal proceedings.

Here are examples of when explanations might be helpful:

Your will differs from a verbal agreement

If you’ve verbally said you’d do one thing, but then changed your mind and your estate plans without letting the person know, it can cause issues. Explaining that you are aware you’d said one thing but decided to change it – and then providing some sense of why – can help reduce potential arguments or hard feelings.

Heirs could feel you’ve “played favorites.”

The idea that everything should be divided equally among children or other heirs is common, but it isn’t always the most sensible approach. While there are things you can do to avoid favoritism in estate planning, sometimes it makes more sense to leave more to one heir than another.

• Perhaps you spent far more money on one child’s education and training than another, and you want to make up that difference.
• Some heirs or beneficiaries may have asked for (and received) monetary or material gifts/favors, and so leaving extra to others may even the playing field.
• One child may be a spendthrift, requiring tighter controls on their inheritance.
• If one child or family member provided the bulk of your care toward the end of their life, you may feel they should receive extra compensation for that.
• If you have a blended family, with close step-child relationships, this may need to be addressed to help your biological children understand that you valued each child – biological or not – as one of your own.
• And so on.

Every family is different, so what you feel is helpful to explain may vary.

Guardianship choices

It is absolutely essential that parents with children establish legal guardianship documents to protect their children if they are incapacitated or in a situation that renders their children parentless. Word-of-mouth agreements are not enough and can leave your children extremely vulnerable during an already unbearable time.

The decision about who will be the best guardian(s) for your children can be complex, especially if you are choosing a family member or close friend who isn’t the typical choice (grandparents, the most financially secure aunt/uncle, etc.). Explaining why you made your choice can help people accept a decision they disagree with or that hurts their feelings.

Keep your letter of instruction relevant

Wills, trusts, and LOIs are all “living documents” in the sense that they are created in a particular moment in time. Once the testator has outlived that moment, and life moves forward with its inevitable changes, a person’s wishes or surviving heirs/beneficiaries are bound to change. This is why we recommend revisiting estate plans annually and updating them as needed.

The same is true for your letter of instruction; any revisions should be updated with a date stamp and signature and attached to your estate planning documents.

Tseng Law Firm Can Assist You In Creating a Letter of Instruction

Would you like to create an estate plan that includes a letter of instruction to ease the process for your trustee, executor, and loved ones? Schedule an estate planning consultation with Tseng Law Firm. We are experienced Bay Area estate planning attorneys who work closely with our clients to create estate plans that reflect their values and can continue to evolve with their needs.