Consider Planning Your Own Funeral

At one time, the majority of funerals took place in religious communities or mortuaries. However, more estate planning clients are looking for alternative, hybrid, or even home funeral options.

Funeral plans are often included in estate planning processes, providing clear instructions about what you want to happen to your body after you die as well as a detailed plan for where and how people can honor your life—and their grief.

Tips For Creating Your Own Funeral Plans

Planning your own funeral is not only a way to personalize the experience, or to save money (they’re typically far more affordable than a traditional funeral), but it also takes the guesswork out of things for your family and loved ones left behind.

When you die without a will or estate plans, and without any instructions about your funeral or celebration of life, it puts a tremendous strain on loved ones. For one thing, they are in the midst of grief because of your death, and that makes it challenging to think clearly, make decisions, or agree about what you would or wouldn’t have wanted. That last point can lead to unnecessary tension and fallout for families.

So, creating your funeral plans before you die and giving those instructions to individuals you trust can be an invaluable gift to those left behind.

1. What is your plan for your body after you die?

In our post about end-of-life documents, we discuss learning more about your options regarding the body after you pass away. For example, many people don’t realize that in most cases, you don’t have to be immediately whisked away to the mortuary.

There are rising numbers of people who want their bodies to be left alone for a bit, allowing their closest loved ones to see/be with them one last time, to wash them or dress them, to sing a favorite song or read a poem or blessing, and so on. This type of honoring the body after you die is called a “vigil” and can be done at home, in a relative’s or friend’s home, at the hospice house, and so on.

And then, of course, you will want to decide whether you plan to be buried, cremated, composted, have a natural burial, donate your body to medicine/science, and so on. Determining what you want to do with your body often paves the way for what comes next. For example, if you’re choosing to have a green burial, odds are the burial ground won’t allow any embalming to occur, and that alters your after-death care process.

2. Choose the type of service you’d like to have

One way to plan your own funeral is to go to the church or mortuary of your choice and learn more about their services. We recommend visiting multiple mortuaries or funeral homes. Each one is different, and odds are one of them will appeal to you more than the others. Some people are opting to have home funerals, which provide a wide range of options. You can visit the National Home Funeral Alliance Website to learn more about that option.

Here are things to consider when making personalized plans for a funeral service:

• Do you want to have some type of viewing? If so, public or private?
• Should the body be at the funeral/service? If so, open or closed casket?
• Would you like to have a service at the graveside or at the crematorium?
• Does it matter to you that the experience be as eco-friendly as possible?
• If you’re choosing to be cremated, where do you want your ashes to be stored, buried, or scattered? Some people prefer them to remain in an urn or custom container and then buried or scattered with their partner, family members or their pet. Others opt to have their ashes scattered in a favorite location (or a portion scattered in multiple locations).
• Would you like there to be a service when your ashes are interred or scattered?
• Will there be food, music, or special ceremonies, rituals, or other activities that are meaningful to you?

The more details you provide in your plans, the easier it is for loved ones to accommodate your wishes—and get things in motion, knowing they’re honoring your wishes.

3. Who do you want to be involved or have roles?

Many funerals, memorials, and celebrations of life include your loved ones. This is a way for them to honor you and is an important part of their process of letting you go. This can include any manner of things, but some of the most common include:

• Someone to facilitate the ceremony, service, or an event (often clergy or designated officiants do this—although anyone can officiate a mortuary or home funeral).
• People to write/read eulogies.
• Those you may ask to participate in readings of your favorite religious passages, poems, passages from favorite writers, or perhaps even a letter from you.
• Musicians or vocalists to sing your favorite songs or the song(s) you’ve chosen to be part of the service or celebration.
• Pallbearers to carry your casket.
• Individuals to sit at the guest book area who greet people and have them sign the book.
• Ushers to escort guests to their seat.
• And so on.

In most cases, we recommend letting people know what you would like them to do to ensure they’re comfortable with the role or task. Also, it’s a way for you to connect with them and let them know how special they are to you.

4. Consider taking care of the finances ahead of time

If you make proactive arrangements with a local mortuary or funeral home, you can typically purchase a package and pay for all of the fees up front. This can be very helpful to your heirs and beneficiaries because it may take a while for the estate to be settled. If money is at all an issue, paying up front or leaving a specific amount in a bank account (that your spouse, power-of-attorney, or your estate trustee can access) ensures money is never an issue at such an emotional and stressful time.

Never Underestimate the Peace of Mind Planning Your Funeral Can Offer

One of the primary reasons people avoid creating estate plans or planning their funeral is that they don’t want to think about dying. Or, in many cases, that feels so far away. There’s an often false belief or assumption that “I can do that down the road.” However, we all know that death is inevitable, and we all know if can happen any time.

As experienced Bay Area estate planning attorneys, we see time and again that when clients take initiative and proactively create their estate plans, make their own funeral arrangements, or provide ideas or requests for their celebrations of life, they feel more at ease and gain peace of mind. They often say things like, “I didn’t realize how much I actually worried about that until it was done.”

Tseng Law Firm Helps You Plan Every Detail

Tseng Law Firm has guided clients through estate planning essentials, including funeral plan options and arrangements for more than a decade. Contact us to schedule an appointment and learn more about how we can help you achieve peace of mind, know your plans are in place, and that your loved ones are taken care of.